Thursday, April 1, 2010

When Close Girl Friends Relocate

My closest friend in town is relocating out of the country with her family and I'm surprised at just how sad I'm beginning to feel. The last time I felt this sense of loss was when my best friend/maid of honor relocated out of the country 9 years ago. 

Girls night out here in Florida this past January.

I had great girl friends in Dallas but relocating here meant losing face-to-face communication. I was yearning for a new sister-soul friendship. A friend who feels like your blood sister - you love them dearly, disagree hard when necessary but you almost can't live without them.  Part of it might be that I was the only girl growing up with brothers, my mother was incredible but I missed having a sister.

My new friendship here in Florida grew over the years and we started doing lunches at least once a month to chat about ourselves, God, marriage, motherhood, ministry, work and families in Kenya. I think the real reason I'm sad is the prospect of searching the town for another similar honest & meaningful friendship. I'm beginning to pray - not for a replacement but that I will be that friend to someone else.

Research shows that we women live longer because of our ability to emotionally connect and build a support group. On the other side, married men live longer than single men but pass away sooner if the wife dies because he has a hard time connecting emotionally to others. Lesson - cultivate healthy meaningful friendships!

I learned a couple of years back that husbands don't frankly have the stomach to sit through some of the gab we share with girl friends. It still bothers me when wives describe their husbands as their best friends - I know what they technically mean but I hope they are not trying to make a woman out of the husband. You get the drift - so here I am sitting, typing and praying that I will recognize when an old friend, a current acquintance or new friend becomes the next sister-soul honest meaningful friendship.


  1. Hi Julia nice blog entry ...just wanted u to know I read it ...keep it coming Tonte

  2. And I know which friend that is....Over and over again, watching people move is painful. And yes indeed we open ourselves to be a friend to yet another stranger who then becomes dear to us.

    Lets get together in June for a great friends day.

  3. I feel you. Over the years I have found that God has been faithful to bring me a soul sister every time I needed one. He will do it for you too.

  4. i understand you sis and i feel happened to me when my dear friend relocated to Gaborone the Capital city of Botswana and now i spoke to her last weekend and she told me again they are relocating for good to Kenya, i know its not easy but like you said in you may you impact somebody's life and that you may be a sister to someone else. your story has touched me i know what it means to have a dear friend who is like a sister to you! keep well.


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