Friday, January 1, 2010

Achieving Your 2010 Goals With The Change Model

Happy New 2010 and the start of a new decade! I checked the Merriam-Webster dictionary online and decided goals and resolutions should co-exist. It defines 'resolution' as 'a formal expression of opinion, will, or intent', it also describes it as 'the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones'. 'Goal' is defined as 'an end toward which effort is directed'. I am a goal setter and I work hard to achieve them throughout the year. If you are setting new goals or forwarding last year's goals to 2010, you need a game plan to achieve them.

Goals should be achievable and measurable in order to succeed. Write them down! Preferrably in a journal book that you keep in your home dresser or work desk so you can keep up with your progress. Break them into bits with months to measure your progress.

My favorite goals model is outlined in the Prepare/Enrich classes I teach engaged couples

The CHANGE model - achieving your goals 

C - Commit yourself to a specific goal.
My examples: Couples: Spending more time together away from the kids, Individuals: Spend more time with family or friends.

H - Habits ... break old and start new ones
Couples: Instead of slouching on the couch with a remote control, turn on some fun music, grab your spouse and ask them to dance with you, let the kids run around cleaning up to the beat of the music. Individuals: instead of ignoring your mother's call for the fifth time, send her a text message telling her you are okay and will call back soon - and do call back!

A - Action ... take one step at a time
Couples: Ask your parent friends to babysit or hire a babysitter from a local church, a teenager in the neighborhood, or call your local childcare resource. Individuals: Call your family/friends once a week and say you are checking in on them. Send a card or a text message to say you are thinking of them if you are pressed for time.

N - Never give up
Couples: If no one's available to babysit, don't give up. Plan a romantic in-home dinner when the baby/kids sleep, a scented candle, simple meal, low lights and smooth jazz will set in the mood as you wait for another time. Individuals: If you didn't communicate this week, try the next week - if your family/friends picked a fight with you, don't give up on trying to keep in touch.

G - Goal-oriented ... focus on the positive
Couples: The greatest gift for yourselves and your kids is a healthy relationship. If date night is not going so well, look at the positive and remember you are making an effort. Compliment your spouse for trying hard to plan a great night and start planning your next date night to avoid similar problems as the past one. Individuals: Focus on your efforts to talk to your mother though you are tired of the unsolicited advice on why you should date Joe/Jane in 2010. Give yourself a break for reaching out to family/friends despite a busy schedule.

E - Evaluate and reward yourself
Couples: Give each other a meaningful gift that does not necessarily require money. Coupons for a foot/body massage, coupon to watch a game or a show without being nagged, a coupon to have his/her favorite home cooked meal etc, a night out with the guys or a night out with the girls. Individuals: go out for a movie/dinner by yourself or with friends, upgrade your phone to one with features encouraging you to stay in touch.

Happy GOAL-SETTING in 2010! 

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