Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Honeymoon Expectations

The best part of planning a wedding is planning the honeymoon. Wedding planning is stressful; some couples fantasize of dropping vendors, family and friends and eloping to a honeymoon suite miles away from home. This is why I love the discussions I have with engaged couples during my honeymoon 101 class sessions.

What Makes A Great Honeymoon Experience?

As a couple, you need to discuss what you expect from your honeymoon as far as your relationship is concerned. If you already have concerns about your partner’s red flag issues, a honeymoon will not solve your problem. You need to tackle those issues preferably through premarital counseling before the wedding. The key is having realistic expectations and not expecting your spouse to transform during your honeymoon.

What Does Premarital Counseling Have To Do With Honeymoon Expectations?

Most couples would do not place premarital counseling and honeymoon sex in the same sentence. Yet in reality, couples that attend a marriage preparation class are more likely to enjoy their honeymoon and their first year of marriage. A study listed in the September 2006 Journal of Family Psychology, shows couples that attend premarital education classes increase in their first year marital satisfaction and lower their divorce chances by 31%! Premarital counseling enables you to discuss realistic marriage expectations including honeymoon sex.

What’s The Big Deal About Honeymoon Sex Expectations?

The truth of the matter is first time you have sex after your wedding, will be your first time as a married couple. You want it to be a pleasant and special experience. Some couples have sex on the wedding night while others wait for the honeymoon due to exhaustion. You need to communicate with each other – you will recall your first married sex experience for the rest of your life. Make it special by outlining your dreams and expectations. Do you prefer sight-seeing excursions, lounging by the pool/beach or spending time in your suite making love?

What About Wedding Drama And Other Issues?

One of my favorite websites on this issue is The First Dance - they have incredible information on dealing with wedding stress and I actually offer their class to engaged couples here in South Florida. Chances are something didn’t quite go as planned during the wedding – it happened to me. You need to make a conscious choice not to rehash it to your spouse. Don’t let your family, friends or wedding vendors ruin your long awaited honeymoon. You can handle whatever went wrong when you get back. Spend your honeymoon focused on your spouse and your new life together – you will have weeks and months to talk about wedding drama. Choose to enjoy your honeymoon and write a short journal your expectations for your first year of marriage. Written dreams materialize faster than fantasized thoughts.

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